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::uncomfortable&wondering:: |
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| it never goes away... |
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10.18.2003
9.12.2003
wow.. i haven't been making entries here in a while.. guess i was just too busy with the other blog.. whoops! whehe.. yeah, i have a new one.. but im not gonna put a link here to direct you to it.. you'll be able to find it if you're that curious and if you really know me.. whehehe.. only one person knows about that blog and i don't have any plans of telling anyone else.. yet.. i don't have to say anything here.. i don't want to say anything.. hehe.. babye!
9.01.2003
sorry to those people involved in that story in my last entry... i just had to share that to reason out why i'm acting the way i'm acting... and no, it's not your fault..
haii.. grabe, ung tnype ko pala dito kagabi hindi na-publish dahil nag-dc ako kaagad! whahaha... pero ok lang, medyo private thing yun e at weird din yung pagkakwento ko.. weyt! gusto ko mag-english!
english naman these past few days, i've been going through some problems.. not only those that almost everybody knows but also those that only i and a couple of people know... i've been feeling lost and kind of "rejected" because of what's been happening.. first, because of the problem, i haven't really been talking to her about a lot of stuff, stuff i usually tell her... second, i've been talking to another person(1) about my problems when she(#1) and one of our friends(#2) also start to have a problem... days after that, they(#1&2) talked it out and i discovered that that she(#2) was in a huff (ayesss) because she(#1) was spending more time with me than with her(#2)... they were the two people who were really "close" in our barx... i felt weird realizing that i had somehow contributed to the problem... i decided to lay low from those "serious talk sessions" that we(me & #1) had because i didn't want anyone to have a problem because of me... heck... i didn't know who i could talk to... i didn't want to interfere with whatever they had.. i really felt lost.. it was at that time when i started analyzing all the stuff on my own and not open up to anybody.. and believe me, it's hard... i'm not that kind of person... whenever i have a problem, i usually talk to every person around me about that problem... i rarely keep things to myself (except those secret stuff that people tell me).. luckily, i got to talk to 2 other people who were patient enough to listen to whatever i had to say (i'm not saying that the other people i talked to weren't patient.. but.. you get the point!)... i'm still not over what happened but there have been improvements.. i've learned to control myself and whatever i felt... less self-pity... less tantrums.. less rants.. a more open-mind... more patience.. more understanding.. as usual, special mention:: tenkyu cla and ate abby! :)
8.29.2003
(edited version)
kahit di pa tayo nakakapag-usap at kahit na malabo pa rin tayo, sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry
8.28.2003
grabe... ayoko na talaga... paulit-ulit na lang yung problema! meh dadating pang isa pang problema bukas! hai nako! ewan ko na lang talaga ha... pagod na ako... ayoko nang maasar! pero bakit ba kasi lagi na lang yung mali yung nakikita ko? hindi ko na talaga maintindihan... kala ko ok na e.. hindi pa rin pala.. ibang tao na kasi talaga siya... di ko na malaman kung sino siya... parang gusto ko na lang nang lumayo pero alam ko namang walang magagawa yun... pero mas-ok na din siguro yun... ang tanong na lang, kanino ako sasama?! yung isa ko kasing nakakasama din dati, parang gusto ko na rin munang layuan dahil meh natapakan (please.. hindi literal!) akong tao dahil sa kakahila ko sa kanya... sila-sila na lang muna magsama-sama... ok lang ako dito... mabubuhay naman ako e... hanap na lang din ako ng iba pang tao... pagdasal niyo naman ako o, na sana matapos na 'tong problema ko... ang hirap kasi e... tapos, yung dadating pala bukas, naisip ko lang, itong taon yung pinaka unang beses na hindi ko siya babatiin sa birthday niya at hindi rin magbibigay ng regalo o ni sulat man lang... pleease... ayoko na noh... buti nga ngayon wala nang nagpupumilit na magbati na kami e! hehehehe... pero, kahit naman nawala na siya, meh pumalit naman na bagong problema na lagi ko rin iniiyakan e... kaya nga, pagdasal niyo ko... ayoko nang ikwento pa lahat ng mga pangyayari dahil baka magkasagutan nanaman kami... tigil na lang na muna ha... pahinga lang ako ng konti...
8.23.2003
ano bang meron sa linggong 'to? isang malaking pinky! nakakaasar! una, tambak sa mga projects! nung wednesday, technically thursday, 3 ng umaga na ako nakatulog! isang malaking pinky talaga! tapos, nung wednesday din pala, naglakad ako galing greenhiulls pauwi para sa project na yun dahil kung sumabay ako sa bus, 6 na ako makakadating sa bahay... tapos tapos, nung thursday naman, iniwan ako ng bus! pinky talaga! ang labo e! pag maaga akong lumalabas, 5.30 na sila dumadating! pag sinasakto ko lang labas ko, its either antagal na daw nila akong hinihintay o iniwan na ako! ang laking kadaguhan!
ano pa ba masasabi? ah! yung simple plan nasa trl kanina! pinakita yung world premiere ng "perfect"! tapos si pierre! haii... gwapo! si david din! masgusto ko siyang black yung hair! diba ly?! hehehe... tapos, yung linkin park din pala, may bagong video! gwapo din ni mike! whehehe... grabe! guy galore! tapos, sa september 6 pala, ipapalabas na ulit yung gilmore girls! jared!!! whahahahaha... haiii... ang saya saya ko nanaman ngayon... bet ko sa monday, problema nanaman... bahala na lang na nga! basta alam kong masaya ako ngayon..
8.19.2003
salamat pala ulet glennie at ate abby... di ko lam kung ano na nangyari saken ngayon kung wala kayo.. :)
baket kya ang ibang tao na sobra mong mahal bigla na lang nagbabago at nagiging parang yung taong ayaw mo? nakakamiss noh? parang gusto mong mabalik na lang siya sa dati kahit na alam mong mahirap ng baguhin yung ugali niya.. sori kung nasaktan din kita at kung masyado kong inisip sarili ko... hindi ka naman kasi nagsasalita e.. lagi na lang ako iwan... pag hinahanap nga kita at gusto kitang makausap, may kausap kang iba at hindi mo na ko pinapansin... sana, pag nagkausap na tayo, masabi ko na 'to lahat sayo... sana din maintindihan mo kung bakit ako ganito... sana lang talaga maayos na 'to... alam mo kasi nakakapagod na magalit araw-araw e... nakakapagod din umiyak paulit-ulit ng dahil sa isang issue lang.. kahit yung ibang tao, pagod na rin sa kakabigay sa akin ng advice... yung jacket ko, lusaw na sa daming beses na yun yung iniyakan ko... ayusin n ntin 'to ha.. pleeease...
break sa kadramahan... congratulations to andy roddick for winning the tennis masters series! mahal na ata kita! gumising ako ng alas-4 ng umaga para mapanuod ka! yakk... parang maiintindihan e noh! basta! mahal na nga kita! pero syempre, masmahal ko pa rin si toooot... yun kasi yung abot ko na tao e! yung nakikita ko talaga at hindi panaginip lang... kaso meh mahal siyang iba... ewan! basta alam ko, mahal ko siya! babye! |
links ate din's ate din's again jen's eprel's glennie's ella's burn's ging's ly's pam's thea's thea's again ROC's vertigo's alive's jammers' burn's site camz's site pam's site 
GC rocks! HOME | ARCHIVES 
likes:: music. writing. reading. internet. friends. guitar. cds. radio. tv. benji madden. joel madden. pierre bouvier. andy roddick. HiM. sacramento kings. basketball. badminton. blog. red. black. orange. good charlotte. simple plan. linkin park. default. john mayer. all american rejects. the ataris. yahoo. google. blogger. the fast and the furious. monsters, inc. ten things i hate about you. lizzie mcguire. sana'y wala nang wakas. csi. six feet under. hates:: avril lavigne. f4. meteor garden. bestfriends. wants:: ten things i hate about you dvd. spin mag featuring simple plan. blender mag featuring simple plan. new shoes. new pants. the guardian by nicholas sparks. almost kinda acoustic. movin' on - GC when i think about my life i wonder if i will survive to live to see 25 or will i just fall? like all my friends, they just keep dying people 'round me always crying in this place that i like to call my home not everybody knows that everybody goes to a better place not everybody knows that everyone could be living their last days but the hard times will come, and we'll keep movin' on, we're movin' up keep movin' on life. hope. truth. trust. faith. pride. love. lust. on without the things we've lost the things we've gained we'll take with us and all i've got are these two hands to make myself a better man i wonder if i'll ever see the end of this with all this rain it just keeps falling on my head and now i'm calling out to someone else to help me make it through pain. hate. lies. guilt. laugh. cry. live. die. some friends become enemies some friends become your family make the best with what you're given this ain't dying this is living! said we're movin' on, and we got nothing to prove to anyone 'cause we'll get through we're movin' on and on and on and on... keep movin' on easier to run - LP it's easier to run replacing this pain with something numb it's so much easier to go than face all this pain here all alone something has been taken from deep inside of me a secret i've kept locked away no one can ever see wounds so deep they never show they never go away like moving pictures in my head for years and years they've played if i could change i would take back the pain i would retrace every wrong move that i made i would if i could stand up and take the blame i would if i could take all the shame to the grave i would sometimes i remember the darkness of my past bringing back these memories i wish i didn't have sometimes i think of letting go and never looking back and never moving forward so there would never be a past just washing it aside all of the helplessness inside pretending i don't feel misplaced is so much simpler than change you're good! |