uncomfortable&wondering

2003-10-18T21:41:00.000-07:00

here.. i've been too lazy to go from blog to blog according to my mood.. new home? maybe..

2003-09-12T02:40:00.000-07:00

wow.. i haven't been making entries here in a while.. guess i was just too busy with the other blog.. whoops! whehe.. yeah, i have a new one.. but im not gonna put a link here to direct you to it.. you'll be able to find it if you're that curious and if you really know me.. whehehe.. only one person knows about that blog and i don't have any plans of telling anyone else.. yet.. i don't have to say anything here.. i don't want to say anything.. hehe.. babye!

2003-09-01T04:43:00.000-07:00

sorry to those people involved in that story in my last entry... i just had to share that to reason out why i'm acting the way i'm acting... and no, it's not your fault..

2003-09-01T04:12:00.000-07:00

haii.. grabe, ung tnype ko pala dito kagabi hindi na-publish dahil nag-dc ako kaagad! whahaha... pero ok lang, medyo private thing yun e at weird din yung pagkakwento ko.. weyt! gusto ko mag-english!
english naman
these past few days, i've been going through some problems.. not only those that almost everybody knows but also those that only i and a couple of people know... i've been feeling lost and kind of "rejected" because of what's been happening.. first, because of the problem, i haven't really been talking to her about a lot of stuff, stuff i usually tell her... second, i've been talking to another person(1) about my problems when she(#1) and one of our friends(#2) also start to have a problem... days after that, they(#1&2) talked it out and i discovered that that she(#2) was in a huff (ayesss) because she(#1) was spending more time with me than with her(#2)... they were the two people who were really "close" in our barx... i felt weird realizing that i had somehow contributed to the problem... i decided to lay low from those "serious talk sessions" that we(me & #1) had because i didn't want anyone to have a problem because of me... heck... i didn't know who i could talk to... i didn't want to interfere with whatever they had.. i really felt lost.. it was at that time when i started analyzing all the stuff on my own and not open up to anybody.. and believe me, it's hard... i'm not that kind of person... whenever i have a problem, i usually talk to every person around me about that problem... i rarely keep things to myself (except those secret stuff that people tell me).. luckily, i got to talk to 2 other people who were patient enough to listen to whatever i had to say (i'm not saying that the other people i talked to weren't patient.. but.. you get the point!)... i'm still not over what happened but there have been improvements.. i've learned to control myself and whatever i felt... less self-pity... less tantrums.. less rants.. a more open-mind... more patience.. more understanding..

as usual, special mention:: tenkyu cla and ate abby! :)

2003-08-29T05:41:00.000-07:00

whooshoo... drama ampucha!

2003-08-29T05:29:00.000-07:00

(edited version)
kahit di pa tayo nakakapag-usap at kahit na malabo pa rin tayo,
sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry

2003-08-28T06:54:00.000-07:00

grabe... ayoko na talaga... paulit-ulit na lang yung problema! meh dadating pang isa pang problema bukas! hai nako! ewan ko na lang talaga ha... pagod na ako... ayoko nang maasar! pero bakit ba kasi lagi na lang yung mali yung nakikita ko? hindi ko na talaga maintindihan... kala ko ok na e.. hindi pa rin pala.. ibang tao na kasi talaga siya... di ko na malaman kung sino siya... parang gusto ko na lang nang lumayo pero alam ko namang walang magagawa yun... pero mas-ok na din siguro yun... ang tanong na lang, kanino ako sasama?! yung isa ko kasing nakakasama din dati, parang gusto ko na rin munang layuan dahil meh natapakan (please.. hindi literal!) akong tao dahil sa kakahila ko sa kanya... sila-sila na lang muna magsama-sama... ok lang ako dito... mabubuhay naman ako e... hanap na lang din ako ng iba pang tao... pagdasal niyo naman ako o, na sana matapos na 'tong problema ko... ang hirap kasi e... tapos, yung dadating pala bukas, naisip ko lang, itong taon yung pinaka unang beses na hindi ko siya babatiin sa birthday niya at hindi rin magbibigay ng regalo o ni sulat man lang... pleease... ayoko na noh... buti nga ngayon wala nang nagpupumilit na magbati na kami e! hehehehe... pero, kahit naman nawala na siya, meh pumalit naman na bagong problema na lagi ko rin iniiyakan e... kaya nga, pagdasal niyo ko... ayoko nang ikwento pa lahat ng mga pangyayari dahil baka magkasagutan nanaman kami... tigil na lang na muna ha... pahinga lang ako ng konti...

2003-08-23T05:06:00.000-07:00

ano bang meron sa linggong 'to? isang malaking pinky! nakakaasar! una, tambak sa mga projects! nung wednesday, technically thursday, 3 ng umaga na ako nakatulog! isang malaking pinky talaga! tapos, nung wednesday din pala, naglakad ako galing greenhiulls pauwi para sa project na yun dahil kung sumabay ako sa bus, 6 na ako makakadating sa bahay... tapos tapos, nung thursday naman, iniwan ako ng bus! pinky talaga! ang labo e! pag maaga akong lumalabas, 5.30 na sila dumadating! pag sinasakto ko lang labas ko, its either antagal na daw nila akong hinihintay o iniwan na ako! ang laking kadaguhan!
ano pa ba masasabi? ah! yung simple plan nasa trl kanina! pinakita yung world premiere ng "perfect"! tapos si pierre! haii... gwapo! si david din! masgusto ko siyang black yung hair! diba ly?! hehehe... tapos, yung linkin park din pala, may bagong video! gwapo din ni mike! whehehe... grabe! guy galore! tapos, sa september 6 pala, ipapalabas na ulit yung gilmore girls! jared!!! whahahahaha... haiii... ang saya saya ko nanaman ngayon... bet ko sa monday, problema nanaman... bahala na lang na nga! basta alam kong masaya ako ngayon..

2003-08-19T04:12:00.000-07:00

salamat pala ulet glennie at ate abby... di ko lam kung ano na nangyari saken ngayon kung wala kayo.. :)

2003-08-19T04:10:00.000-07:00

baket kya ang ibang tao na sobra mong mahal bigla na lang nagbabago at nagiging parang yung taong ayaw mo? nakakamiss noh? parang gusto mong mabalik na lang siya sa dati kahit na alam mong mahirap ng baguhin yung ugali niya.. sori kung nasaktan din kita at kung masyado kong inisip sarili ko... hindi ka naman kasi nagsasalita e.. lagi na lang ako iwan... pag hinahanap nga kita at gusto kitang makausap, may kausap kang iba at hindi mo na ko pinapansin... sana, pag nagkausap na tayo, masabi ko na 'to lahat sayo... sana din maintindihan mo kung bakit ako ganito... sana lang talaga maayos na 'to... alam mo kasi nakakapagod na magalit araw-araw e... nakakapagod din umiyak paulit-ulit ng dahil sa isang issue lang.. kahit yung ibang tao, pagod na rin sa kakabigay sa akin ng advice... yung jacket ko, lusaw na sa daming beses na yun yung iniyakan ko... ayusin n ntin 'to ha.. pleeease...
break sa kadramahan... congratulations to andy roddick for winning the tennis masters series! mahal na ata kita! gumising ako ng alas-4 ng umaga para mapanuod ka! yakk... parang maiintindihan e noh! basta! mahal na nga kita! pero syempre, masmahal ko pa rin si toooot... yun kasi yung abot ko na tao e! yung nakikita ko talaga at hindi panaginip lang... kaso meh mahal siyang iba... ewan! basta alam ko, mahal ko siya!
babye!

2003-08-16T21:42:00.000-07:00

ok.. this is my isp that im using.. i bought this yesterday for our supposed research which turned out to be a "playtime" for us... they were all amazed with my monsters, inc toys which distracted all of us from our project..
so.. i don't know if im still banned from going online except for schoolwork but my bro doesn't really mind.. at least im not chatting on irc! *side comment:: wow! english! where did the tagalog words go?!*
hmm... about that prob thng.. heck.. weyt nga... tagalog na tayo ulet... ayun.. sobra.. meh nalaman ako nung isang araw na sobrang *ouch*.. ang sakit pala talaga pag naiiwan ka, then assuming kung baket then knowing what you assumed was right.. promise, sobrang sakit! whoops... sori kung lam mo kung sino ka... hindi ako "nagpaparinig"... yun lang talaga yung malalagay ko dito coz that's what's on my mind..
alis muna ko... kain lng... try to be back..

2003-08-11T09:05:00.000-07:00

ayan... nkapag-online n at last! nagre-research ako para sa filipino e... at, as usual, isp ni kuya mik gamit ko! whahahaha... tenkyu kuya mik!
andami nang kung anu-anong mga nangyari even just this past week... ang pinaka nakakahiya at nakakapikon ung tnamaan ako ng shuttlecock sa mata! pang-asar! on that same week, naipit din ung thumb ko sa door sa bus... hindi ung part nung door kung saan madalas naiipit.. ung dun sa kabila, ung meh hinges! ung malala dun, ilang araw na lang nun bago mag-songfest! pero, ok na lang na din... nanalo kami! 2nd place! wenk...
hmmm... ano pa ba?! problema ko?! sa iisang tao lang... at paulit-ulit lang.. hindi ko na nga alam kung anong gagawin ko e... kung sino2 na nakakaalam tungkol dun pero sya parang hindi nya parin ramdam... hindi ko alam kung manhid lang ba o wala lang talagang paki... sana lang mapansin niya... yung nakakaasar lang naman dun alam niya na yung problema ko e, pero parang walang epekto sa kanya yung mga pinagsasabi ko...
special mention::glennie at ms. tumibay: sobrang tenkyu 4 being there 4 me and always listening to what i have to say... hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko kung wala kayo...
hai... ai! grabe! paunti-unti ko nanamang nagugustuhan si avril! gusto ko yung bago niya! tapos nung isang araw, na-realize ko, pwede ko palang kanta sa isang tao yung "complicated"! sobra! which reminds me... maghahanap pa pala ako ng lyrics!
blog na lang ulit ako pag mkapg-online ako... babye!

2003-08-03T08:03:00.000-07:00

since pumayag na din naman kuya ko na mag-internet muna ako, sige, lulubus-lubusin ko na... kung hindi niyo pa alam, hindi ako pwede talaga gumamit ng computer/internet.... walang hiyang mga virus kasi yan! at syempre, ako ang tinuro na nakakuha ng virus kaya nasira yung mga, oo MGA, computer.. ewan ko na lang talaga..
anyway, 10:48pm na at gising na gising pa rin ako dahil sa internet... balita?! ayun, crush ko prin "sya"... as usual, madami pa rin akong problema na lahat ng tao alam except yung tao na pinoproblema ko... iba na talaga pag manhid na... sana manhid na lang din ako para hindi na ako mahirapan... speaking of manhid, ang manhid pala "niya"! sabi ko ksi sa kanya last week, nung napagusapan namin na nakita ko yung crush nya, "grabe nga e, yung crush ng ibang tao nakita ko pero yung crush ko hindi ko nakita.." hindi niya na-get na siya yun! hindi man lang tinanong kung sino crush ko! ewan ko na lang talaga ha... tapos kanina, wala pa siya... tulog daw dahil nag-upcat nung umaga... sus! grabe...
noh pa ba bago? ah! badminton training! ayus! ang saya! ano pa ba? pumunta ako nung duncan sheik concert kasama si liane... ang saya! almost 3 weeks ko na pinapakinggan ng paulit-ulit yung album niya...
uhm... lapit na songfest! sa thursday na... and yes, instrumentalist po ako... isa pang pinapractice namin, yung pang-intermission... ayes! hehehe... sana lang matino yung kalabasan!
hmmm... gusto ko makagawa ng song! as in yung akin talaga! gusto ko din ng banda! sana mabuhay ulet yung gardenwire! pero, pano yun? mawawala na daw si den e... :( bakit ba kailangan ng mga tao lumipat at tumira sa ibang bansa?! 3 down, and only a few more to go... sino kaya matitirang vertigo dito sa pilipinas?! hindi pa pwedeng ilagay niyo na lang ako sa balikbayan box at isama sa patutunguhan niyo?! ai, hindi... ok lang pala na iwan na lang ako dito... yung bago naming bahay! malapit na mabuo!! konting hintay na lang! nakaakyat na nga ako dun sa future attic at room ng kuya ko e... ang laki nung bahay! nakakatakot! feeling ko mawawala ako dun! hahaha...
sige na, ito na lang muna ngayon... babye! 11pm na po at hindi pa ako nakakapagayos ng kwarto! mukha pang binagyo e! hahaha...

2003-07-09T05:47:00.000-07:00

bad trip!! palanca ko knalimutan ibigay!! :(

2003-07-05T06:47:00.000-07:00

haiii... andrama... just my version of "you don't see me"... hmm... sunday yet again... i don't want to see him... a weird thought just went through my mind... i was thinking whether or not to give him the lyrics of "you don't see me"... which would also, obviously, lead to me admitting that i like him, really like him.. eek.. weird and creepy thought..

i just read in one of the sum41simpleplanrock group newsletters that peirre just had his hair turned(?!) blonde... i haven't seen any pic of him with his new hairdo... help!!! if you see any site with his pic, tell me, k? hehehehe... tenkyu!

argh.. sunday.. ayoko na...

2003-07-05T05:03:00.000-07:00

alam kong mahal mo siya,
ilang beses mo nang nasabi sa 'kin.
pag nagkikita tayo,
siya ang lagi mong kinikwento.
kahit masakit,
nandito pa rin ako,
nagtitiis, umaasang balang araw
mamahalin mo rin ako.
pag nakikita ko siya,
masnasasaktan pa ako
dahil alam kong may mahal siyang iba,
ni hindi niya man lang sinasabi sayo.
gaano katagal pa kaya
bago niya aminin sayo?
gaano katagal pa kaya
bago ako naman makita mo?

2003-07-01T05:05:00.000-07:00

whoohoo!! no school tomorrow! :b

tagalog ulet ako...

hai nako... 3 weeks n palang meh skul, di ko man lang napapansin... ok naman na ako sa room ko... medyo settled na.. weird lang nga kasi 2 or 3 ata yung mga sinasasamahan kong "barx"/group sa room... unlike dun sa alive, meh ROC... dito, medyo ipit ako though masaya naman ako sa kahit saang grupo ako mapasama... medyo feeling superior na ko dun dahil madalas na akong nakaka-recite! lalo na sa math.. hahaha... at sino ang seatmate ko?! ang ever famous, heartthrob at sira-ulong si princess!! joke lang princess! mahal kita! pero, just so you know, hindi kita mamimiss kahit na mag-absent ako.. rest day ko na yun sa kakulitan mo! :b

so anyway... wala pa rin yung results nung sa MAC auditions... sabi nila sigurado na daw silang pasado na ako... pero iba lang talaga na makita mo sa harap mo na nakalagay sa papel na pasado ka nga... :)

tingin niyo ba swerte na kayo pag yung crush mo (na lalake) trust ka na to the point na lagi na siyang nago-open sayo tungkol sa feelings niya at sa crush niya?! feeling ko kasi hindi naman yun trust e... ino-open niya lang saken dahil alam niyang kilala ko yung crush niya, diba?! ewan ko... ang wirdo... naka-text ko siya kagabi tsaka nung isa pang gabi... haii... tinitiis ko na lang talaga lahat... gusto ko nang sabihin pero wag muna ngayon... masaya na siya e... ayoko namang isingit yung sarili ko sa kasiyahan niya knowing na mapapaisip lang siya diba?! ayoko na ata muna mag-sunday! :(

2003-06-26T04:15:00.000-07:00

hallo... :) when i got home, i was is a bad mood (yet again..)... i just auditioned for MAC.. yep, my finger still hurt but i wanted to get over the audition already.. i was the first person to audition since i had submitted my form yesterday... i wasn't really that nervous when i was about to audition... but when i started to play and saw the core's reaction and sir ducay's, i was too afraid to look at their faces again while i played... it was very creepy seeing their reactions... then... the bad part... jen auditioned too (no, that's not yet the bad part!) and told me that they were all smiling when she was playing! oh heck! now that made me even more nervous... and now the good part... when i got home, i was all disappointed and all that... then... kate texted me... she's part of the core... she told me that i was "great(?)" in the audition and that my standing looked really good! whooooohooooo!!!

next topic..

when i went online, i checked to see if "he" had chatted... and, guess what? "he" did... he went offline just after almost 2 hours after i went online! i think we're not meant to chat... hmmm... just have to wait for sunday... and, hopefully (that's my word of the day), i get to hear mass on the same time that he will... huhh?! labo! basta! sana sabay kami! nauubos na ingles ko e! slight change of topic:: it really hurts whenever i see "his" crush... :( it hurts coz i know how much "he" really, really, really loves her... :(

oh well...

2003-06-25T03:52:00.000-07:00

just got home from school... i'm kind of in a bad mood... i was sooo ready to audition for MAC (again), though i really was nervous.. i've been practicing the whole day... i already filled up the form and submitted it to the core.. but guess what... i had to go home... why is it that when i already need to get home, that's when my bus arrives late... but when i need to stay in school to do something, that's when they decide to arrive early! tomorrow will just be another day of me showing off my guitar skills (if i have any), me getting nervous and people telling me not to get nervous coz they're sure i'll pass the audition... whooo... right... but what if i don't?! i don't have any other club to join... so, i really hope i pass their standards! hahaha... (ayes... lalim!)

my finger really hurts already... even just when im typing, it hurts... so why am i still online? im just waiting for "him"... i hope he will go online today coz i've endured (thanks for the word, april!) the pain of this freakin finger just to chat with "him"... hahaha... if by 7pm, he's still not online, im going to diconnect from the internet... i think my finger is starting to swell... AND IT REALLY HURTS!!! im not gonna play the guitar on the next couple of days after my audition... owww... =..( ang sakit na talaga!! dumating ka na pleeease.....

2003-06-23T05:21:00.000-07:00

hallo! :) yep, i'm happy, obviously... i got to chat with "him"... i went online to try to find the chords for anima christi which i needed for the MAC auditions... i asked my bro to teach me to play the song plucking... while i was waiting for the page to load, i decided to go online to see who was chatting on irc... then i saw his nickname! oh heck! i got all perky and excited... then i told "him" that i would be right back coz i was going to transfer to the other computer... then i saw my dad using it, so i rushed him just to be able to chat with "him"... then, when i finally got online, he was gone! i got pissed off realizing that he had just gotten offline 4 minutes before i went online! i didn't see him yesterday and today, when we finally had the chance to talk, he went offline! then... just when i was really getting pissed off, i get a message on my fone, from "him"!!! he apologized and said said that he had to eat dinner so he had to go offline... just when i was getting all emotional... haiiii... :)

2003-06-20T09:31:00.000-07:00

10:45pm

just got home from alex/walat/anda's house... i went there straight from school... heid and alex were in school this afternoon.. and for whatever reason, she asked us if we wanted to go to her house... jamming and all that... of course i want to! :) we waited for heid's bus then went to alex's house... jamming, jamming, jamming... 2 hours after what was originally planned, after having to jam in the dark and being scared of the thunder and lightning.. DEN finally arrived! hahaha.. whoohoo!! that's when the jamming really started... electric guitars and all that... we actually have a song... BCC.. bass, chord, chord.. hahahahahahahahahaha... eew.... after that, we just ate and watched bubble gang then i had to go home already... so here i am, online and waiting for anybody to go online too...

guess who i got to chat with... "his" sister! i never even knew they ever go online... i'm still thinking whether or not it was really her... there are just so many people i know with that same name.. but her info had her brother's rarely mentioned and known nickname... so i think it was her..

school?! hmm... as of this week, it's all good... i've recited in almost every subject everyday... i like math again... i like my performance in every subject... i'm just really happy not to be in the dugtong class... i'm good at math again! hahaha... i'm starting to like asian history... i still like english... i get excited knowing that there will be a math class... isn't that weird?! haha... i even got excited because we were told that we would have a quiz in math! now that's the weirdest thing ever... but who cares?! i like math! and guess what? pierre likes math too! i read in one of alex's magazines that he gets low grades in almost everything in high school except for math and music! same thing with me! except when i'm in those stupid dugtong classes... i hope i get higher grades this schoolyear... :)

that's it for now.. babye!

2003-06-15T00:17:00.000-07:00

sorry, medyo tinatamad ako mag-english ngayon... tagalog po muna tayo...

pasukan nanaman... yung gamit ko handang-handa na... ako? parang hindi pa rin... medyo magulo nanaman yung mga classrooms... nasa second floor na daw kami... sana lang may nakalagay na lang na mga sign kung san pupunta para sigurado at hindi nakakahiyang mawala... pero malamang, yung mga makakasabay ko, mawawala rin... hahaha... basta... dating gawi... chapel muna... kornina, dapat ikaw kasabay ko dito e! kaya ko 'to... dapat... sana... pagkatapos mag-chapel, hanapan na... ai, nakalimutan ko! may inayos pala sila leah na magmi-meet daw kami sa rotonda ng alas sais y medya... <-- ayus! pero, wala pa naman ako sa school ng ganung oras e... sana maghintay na lang sila du para may kasabay na ako paakyat.. hehehe... ayoko pa talaga pumasok... gigising nanaman ako ng 5:15 ng umaga! tapos susunduin ako ng mga 5:45... tapos dadating sa school ng 6:45... oo, isang oras akong uupo at walang gagawin... sana nagbawas na ng students sila tats para konti na lang kami... wala na yung mga maiingay, maaarte at mga papansing mga bata... sana makabili ako ng battery mamaya... dadalhin ko na yung discman ko para wala na akong marinig kung hindi good charlotte lang... o baka linkin park din tsaka simlple plan... basta! yung mga boses at instrumento lang nung mga nasabi kong mga banda yung gusto kong marinig sa bus bukas... ayoko muna ng mga ingay nung mga batang yun! nakakarindi!

ang haba na pala nito noh? ok lang yan... matagal naman akong mawawala e... kahit naman magbasa kayo ng blog ng ibang tao yung mga sinasabi din naman nila mahahaba kasi nga pasukan na at wala na kaming masyadong oras para mag-internet... nilulubos-lubos ko na lang na...

sige na, alis na ako... hindi pa ako naliligo! tapos baka i-shine ko na rin yung school shoes ko pagkatapos... oo, wala akong bagong sapatos... ok lang... nakakahiya na sa tatay ko kung magpabili ako ngayon e... masyadong madami na yung gastusin... siguro next week na or next month... wala na rin namang oras ngayon e... babye! kita-kita na lang tayo!

2003-06-14T03:24:00.000-07:00

ito na ko ulit... hai nako... tampo ako... wala man lang bang gimik?! yun lang? kayo lang? ang daya... bahala ka... mamimiss mo din kami..

yan lang naiisip ko ngayon... na aalis ka na nga... hai nako... hindi na ako makapagplano ng kahit ano para sayo dahil meh pasok nanaman tapos sa saturday ka na aalis... pano yun?! san kita pwedeng masingit?! hmp...

ayoko na ata muna mag-blog... masyado akong bad trip at depressed... ayoko na... lahat ng tao nagaalisan na... iwanan na talaga 'to...

2003-06-14T02:44:00.000-07:00

tagalog ulit

sunday nanaman... hindi ko alam kung mae-excite ba ako o hindi... at least diba, makikita ko siya at maco-confirm na buhay nga siya... hahahahaha... weird...

siguro ayoko rin mag-sunday dahil alam kong sunod na araw dun monday... at ayoko pang mag-monday, obviously... ayoko pang pumasok kahit na matagal nang ayos yung mga gamit ko... bago nanamang classroom... bago nanamang mga kaklase... bago nanamang mga teacher... sana lang wala nang mga taong sobrang nakakairita na gusto ko na maging mamamatay-tao dahil sa sobrang asar...

sandali lang... babalik ako para ituloy ito... sasagot lang ako nung forwarded na quiz... babye!

2003-06-13T08:24:00.000-07:00

i just saw frances' blog and she put the pics of her "dream cars" there... i just realized, this has been (yes, still is) my dream car ever since i saw the fast and the furious... i think, by now, i've already watched it for more than 50 times! hahaha... some people have even seen (now this is really pathetic) my pic with that car when i went to the universal studios... i got all excited when i saw that car parked there... i'm really weird when i become a fan of something or someone... sorry to all the people who i've been with when i become all perky coz of the things i see... hahaha... wag nyo ko itakwil!!!

now this is the movie i always go crazy over... even just the sight of a monsters, inc. toy makes me go crazy... i know most of you have seen boo sewn at the back of my tie last school year... hahahaha... i plan on sewing her on again this year... :) yes, i am what you call a fanatic... or maybe, i'm just a retarded psycho! whatever.. all i know is that i love monsters, inc.! i'm such a fanatic that i don't even care what any of you think about how i cried over the monsters, inc. toy that kuya mik told me wasn't being bought for me... at least it was for me! and i'm happy...

this is just another one of my pointless blog entries... i just wanted to see the pictures... hahahahahahahaha.... and... i'm waiting for someone to go online... anyone.... babye!

2003-06-12T23:10:00.000-07:00

that's just pathetic...

2003-06-12T20:13:00.000-07:00

have you ever had a dream that someone you love died? people say that the opposite of what you dream about is what will happen... in this case, that someone in your dream live a longer life...but sometimes, though you know what it already means, you still tend to worry about what you dreamed about...

this morning, i had a "dream" that you-know-who died... what's weird is that i already woke up from that dream... it was like, 10am... then i closed my eyes again... then the dream still continued! in the first part of the dream, i wasn't crying.... it didn't register in my mind that he had already died (in my dream)... then on the second part (after i already woke up and slept again), i started to cry... i went outside the room where most of the people were... i went to the hall with this person (i can't remember who that was)... that's where i really started to cry... then his sister went out too... then we started to talk there... i was still crying when the dream was about to end... when i woke up, i still felt the tears on my cheeks... heck!

when i tried to remember what happened in my dream, my heart beat 3 times faster than normal... maybe i was crying coz he still didn't know how i felt... you know, those typical movie stuff when someone dies... errrr.... i hate that dream!

2003-06-12T05:45:00.000-07:00

i've been going on and offline for 4 times already... i have nothing to do again... even when i'm already online... for three days in a row, i played badminton with ate kat on the street just in front of our house... in approximately 8-9 months, we won't need to play on the street coz we might already have a badminton court... whoohoo!!

just for this day, i've heard i can't read you for more than 5 times! i'm falling in love with daniel bedingfield's voice in that song! :) it's really weird how i liked pop then rock then pop and rock at the same time! for once i just like to like(?!) listening to just one kind of music... well maybe that just won't work for me... hehehe...

be back...

2003-06-11T00:31:00.000-07:00

just bought another isp... i was online the other day then i just got disconnected and couldn't connect even after more than 20 times of redialling... it was obvious that i didn't have any internet hours left...

i was supposed to blog about something last sunday, but for some reason, there were just no words that could describe exactly how i feel... i just felt really bad... and at the same time, all perky! those i've talked to on the phone in the past few days already know why i was and am perky... hehehe... how i wish he'll always look like that... :)

i just got a haircut... i actually like how my hair looks now except for the comment i got from the guy who cut my hair... he told me i now look like someone from meteor garden! heck!!! of all the things anyone could ever tell me... maybe he thought i liked meteor garden... but obviously, I DON'T!!!

school's in 5 days... heck... i don't want to go back yet... but i have to... i'm just glad that i am no longer in that dugtong dunong math class... and that i know where my classroom is.. :b

to all my vertigo and ROC friends, i miss all of you! to my csmc "choirmates", mischi says she misses all of you! hahaha... :b

babye!

2003-06-07T09:56:00.000-07:00

i'm still awake and still bored... i woke up at around 9:30 this morning... i had an appointment with this dermatologist that my dad knew... i went there empty handed and went home with a plastic full of new medicine stuff that the dermatologist gave me...

when i went to my dad's clinic this morning (before that derma thingy), he asked me to stay on the other side of that clinic and wait for him... i was surprised to see that there was another doctor there... i told her that my dad asked me to wait for him there... then she looked at me with a weird grin on her face.. then she turned her back and looked at the table behind her which had our family pics and stuff... then she turned to me and apologized for not recognizing me... she said she thought that i was still a little girl! hahahaha... i've been to my dad's clinic in that hospital a few times before... but it was only today that i noticed... the pictures on that table:: one was our family pic - an old one, then the other one was a pic of my brothers and i - an old pic too.. then there were 2 other pictures of me when i was a kid... take note: 2 pictures of me... only me... i realized then how much my dad really loves and treasures me... i never really noticed that he kept 2 pictures of me in his clinic... those that i mentioned were the only family-related pics on that table in his clinic... that was really touching...

there was this other thing that i went to today but i don't want to blog about it anymore... nothing happened anyway...

babye!

2003-06-04T19:40:00.000-07:00

9:29am

if this was a normal day, i'd still be sleeping at this time... i won't be up until 3 hours after... but no, this isn't a normal day.... it's my mom's bday... kuya mik woke me up at around 7:30am... he told me that my mom wanted me to go with her to the parlor... another unusual thing is that i've already taken a bath... if this was a normal day, i would have only taken a bath when it's already 2pm or even later than that... but, as i've mentioned, this isn't a normal day... and no, i still don't have a gift for my mom... tsk, tsk... and my brothers don't have gifts for her either... that's just great...

is this still insomnia that i am experiencing?! coz it's way worse than before and what other insomniacs experience... other insomniacs sleep in the wee hours of the morning coz they only wake up in the afternoon and they don't do anything the whole day... but me, even if i wake up at 10am and tire myself, i still only get to sleep when it's already 2am... the other day, when we went to antipolo, i had to wake up at 6am... i was exhausted when we got home but i still couldn't sleep... i even don't sleep in the afternoon even if i feel sleepy, hoping that my "sleepiness" would lead to sleeping earlier... what time do i fall asleep? 2am... heck...

i'm watching any given thursday right now... i have a weird taste in music... i can listen to almost anything at all... except those songs which have lyrics i can't understand... what's with the f4 mania?! back to john mayer... how long will it take for me to play like john?! i wish i could play like that without the guitar face... hahaha...

it's already 10:05am and i still don't see any sign of my mom wanting to go to the parlor... she's still busy fixing her beloved new and improved gazebo... and, i just have to say, it really looks nice... better than when it was first built... the other thing we're waiting for is our new house... now that's really exciting!

im still here... just trying to find something to do online... i don't even know what else to blog about anymore... so i guess i'll just blog again when there is something to blog about... haha.. babye!

2003-06-04T08:48:00.000-07:00

just this once... magtatagalog po ako!!! :b

matagal-tagal na rin akong hindi nakapag-internet... madami nanaman akong kailangang basahing mga blog... hai nako, kung hindi ko lang kayo mahal...

sobra na akong bad trip ngayon dahil kahit gano kaaga pa ako humiga sa kama ko, alas dos ng umaga na talaga ako nakakatulog! kahit pagurin ko pa sarili ko, ganun pa rin! at yung masama pa dun, wala na kong magawa habang hindi pa ako makatulog... lahat ng mga karamay ko dati na insomniac, maaga na nakakatulog! pano naman ako? =..( hindi na talaga 'to nakakatuwa! sobra sobra na e...

wow, ang saya nito! ngayon na nga lang ako makakapag internet ulet, nagloloko pa yung connection! ang galing talaga! yan, sakto... kakatype ko lang, nagdisconnect nanaman!

habang yung iba dyan nagpapakabaliw sa meteor garden at f4, hindi pa rin ako nahahawa dun... pero natututok na ako sa telenobela! hahahaha... yung sana'y wala nang wakas! whoohoo! ang gwapo ni jericho! :b

nako.. bday na ng nanay ko bukas, wala pa rin akong regalo sa kanya! dapat nga pupunta ako ng gh ngayon e... pero dahil madaming ginagawa dito, hindi na ako nakapunta... patay... pati mga kuya ko wala pa ring mga regalo... pano na 'to?! hindi pa naman gumagana ang "artistic skills" ko ngayon... kung meron man ako...

ano pa bang bago?! mahal ko na ng sobra sobra ang good charlotte! haha... astig astig astig... pampatulog ko na nga yung mga yun e!

tama na... makiki trivia muna ako sa #spcp06! babye!!

2003-05-25T09:43:00.000-07:00

here goes, glennie...

guess what?! it's sunday... well. technically, it's already monday but, what the hey! (uii, rhyming!) it's still sunday for me... hmmm... the long awaited sunday... i can't believe i'm actually gonna talk about this here knowing that i've informed one of my "choir mates" that this is my blog and told her to visit it... mia, shhhh... to continue... i heard mass 2 times today... again... on our way to the parish, i was actually feeling cold but i'm not really sure whether it was coz i was "nervous" or it was really just the weather... anyway, too much of my excitement... he didn't hear the first mass... his sister told me that they will hear the second mass... hmmm... bitin! i think i'm being too descriptive... i'm giving all the clues away about who "he" is... i can't just say, "who cares?" coz i do care... i don't want "him" to know that i like "him"... and, just so you know, im not typing "him" to cover up that i like a girl... NO, you've got the wrong idea...

i think i'm already getting you confused... so i'll just continue the story.. he arrived just seconds before the second mass started... and for whatever reason, i wasn't as excited to see him as i was last sunday up to yesterday(saturday)... but i did want to see him and talk to him... skip, skip.. he handed me his phone in one of the parts in the mass that we were seated.. he let me read one of the messages in his inbox.. it was a semi-love quote sent to him by his crush... ouch! what was weird about it was that it was the right quote for his situation in connection to his crush and at the same time the right quote for me in connection to him... in the last part of the quote, it somehow said not to mind that the person you love is the reason why you are hurting coz that person is also the reason why you learned to love...

the good part:: when it was time to "make peace" (huh?!), i was surprised at what i saw... (ooh, by the way, my family was sitting near the choir, just a bench away from us... ) he was facing my family and saying, "peace..." and the same thing with my family to him... weird! if you didn't know, my family doesn't like him... AT ALL...my brothers even make fun of him and always ask me why i even like him...so anyway, after the mass, i was talking to my mom as we were waiting at the lobby for my brothers to arrive(they had to go home to get the other car)... i was asking her about the "peace" thing, if it was a good thing and a plus... she said it was! she mentioned that she was "impressed" coz he faced them and nodded(meaning "peace", no duh!) with the matching smile! hahaha...

to sum everything up, this day wasn't as good as i expected... but also not as bad as i thought! ;)

2003-05-24T08:12:00.000-07:00

whooooohoooo!!!! it's working again! :)i guess the layout was just overwhelmed by GC! ok... i'm getting weirder by the second...

i was listening to night live a couple of hours ago... i sorta got pissed coz when i turned the radio on, they played blurry... that's the song that always reminds me of my x - best friend... some of my friends know the story behind that... psst... ging! :b

a couple of songs later, they played wasting my time by default... LIVE AND ACOUSTIC!! i just love dallas smith's voice!! #1 on my top 5 best vocalists! :) right, jen?

2003-05-24T06:19:00.000-07:00

argh... i think this layout/template isn't quiz/pic - friendly... or maybe it just doesn't like good charlotte! ever since i put the quiz results thingy here, the other table didn't work anymore... :( what to do, what to do?! hmm....

2003-05-23T02:34:00.000-07:00

here i go again... quizzes, quizzes, quizzes.... new blog, new quiz?! hehe... i don't really have anything to blog about... as in nothing... oh! i saw the simple plan thing on pinoycentral a while ago... and i saw this good charlotte thing too... but i didn't see the whole thing coz pinoycentral didn't finish playing it... :( errr... enough internet usage for today... bye.

2003-05-23T02:10:00.000-07:00

***WHAT GOOD CHARLOTTE SONG ARE YOU MOST LIKE!?***
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-05-23T02:05:00.000-07:00

You're Benji the hott vocal/guitar major punk
rocker of the band...Go Benji!!!

* Which Good Charlotte Member Are You? *
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-05-23T02:04:00.000-07:00

You're Benji. Music critics have labeled you the
rebel. You get attention because your twin
brother is the lead singer.

Which Good Charlotte Guy Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-05-21T05:15:00.000-07:00

after days of sacrifice... i finally bought isp.... hmm... i was talking to jen the other day... that day when i realized how much my feelings have changed for you-know-who.... well, here's the story... we went to antipolo last sunday for this outing thing that csmc arranged for all the pediatricians and their families... wrong timing... first of all, kings game... second, Hi.M.... we left the house at around 7.30 am and arrived a couple of minutes later at csmc... they rented a bus where some families could hitch a ride going to antipolo... so there i was just sitting at the back of the bus with kuya gio... i was counting down, looking at the watch in the bus, wondering whether or not i will be able to watch the kings game... 8.00am... still no tv... still not on the road... i texted jen and asked if she was watching the game but she didn't reply... 8.30am... finally, on the road to antipolo... but still no tv, no update about the game... then, a couple of minutes (again), jen texted me with a sports cast on the kings game... that was what happened the whole time i was on the bus... sadly, the kings lost... to get that off my mind, i just played badminton (whoohoo!!) with my brothers... about 8 hours later, the other people finally got tired and decided to go back to csmc and go home... we were already at edsa at around 5.58pm... it was then that i realized that there was still a mass at that time! i got all excited that i looked stupid smiling at myself though i wasn't speaking to anyone... when we arrived at csmc, i saw that our car was parked near the entrance... but the bus stopped in the middle part of csmc... just in front of the parish! i got more excited when we were out of the bus... i thought we were still gonna go inside... but no... we went straight to our car! argh! you don't know how bad i felt... i was texting jen as all this happened... i called her as soon as we got home... i was telling her how bad i felt but no matter how much i explained how i felt, it still wasn't exactly how i felt! there was something more... i just didn't know how to describe it... i think i... errr... nevermind...

2003-05-15T10:43:00.000-07:00

gawd! i can't sleep! i don't have anything to do! nobody i can talk to is online! and nobody is replying to my messages! hmm... probably coz by this time, most people are already asleep and i'm still up... i hope my brother gets home soon... i know that we won't be able to tak when he gets home coz he'll already want to sleep but i still want to wait for him... maybe i can talk to him until i get sleepy coz he can't sleep while i'm talking to him! hahahaha... joke lang kuya mik!

for the second week in a row(this sunday), i won't see my crush.. like there's a difference whether or not i see him! but i still want to get to talk to him... though we don't really talk to each other that much, i miss him... uuuyy i do! i don't know why, though...

uh - oh! i'm stuck with avril's vid again! tsk tsk... it's just that i like the lyrics of one of her songs... can relate! not about love though... no duh!

i'm just typing whatever comes to mind now... i just want to have something to do that's why i'm blogging... i don't even have any stories anymore! i already have 3 posts for just this day... well, technicaly, yesterday... it's already 1:29am... if my mom finds out that i'm still awake and in front of the computer yet again, she's gonna kill me! tsk, tsk... but i really can't sleep! i already woke up at 10am and i did so many stuff but i still can't sleep!

errrr.... i want to play badminton! hahahaha.. ooh! kuya mik's here! babye!

2003-05-15T08:09:00.000-07:00

isn't it nice to know that you've helped a person in any way and be thanked for being there for them? this week has been very... touching? overwhelming? i don't know what word to use... basta! gets niyo na yun! i felt needed... i didn't feel like they just opened up to me coz i wanted them to... and i didn't even need to ask them to tell me.... it was like they were me waiting for someone to arrive... to talk to... *touched* it's so touching to see them say thanks... im happy with just that...it's just like with the collage thing... if you don't know that "story", you can still read it here if you want... it's on the march 26 entry... so anyway, i feel as happy as i was that day... when i saw her reaction... but, don't get me wrong... i don't have a crush on her like some people think... there! i saw the perfect thing to say about how i feel... " i was happy that i made someone happy.." that was what i said in the march 26 blog...

i just hope all of you are ok... and if you're not, i'm here for you to talk to... kahit ibuhos niyo na saken lahat, ok lang.. malakas kayo saken e...

2003-05-15T04:30:00.000-07:00

hmmm.. i'm sure i'm not the only one who noticed... everyone has been making their own blogsites lately.... siguro kung hindi libre gumawa ng blogsite, ang yaman na ng blogger.com! i'm not joking... everyone has a blogsite! what's worse is that sometimes i feel like i've seen that site before coz some have the same templates and even the mouse trails! hopefully my blogsite is/will be unique... that's why i'm trying to put personal touches in every way i can so that it won't be just like any other blogsite... no offense to those who have blogsites too! sometimes i think the only thing that's different in these blogsites are their url's! i actually had a hard time "creating" this new blog coz i couldn't seem to think of a unique url (try to count how many times i will mention unique in this entry)! littlethings was taken.. session was taken... from the inside was taken... wastingmytime was taken... redandblack was taken.. so, after 5 failed tries, i tried to think really hard about what word/s i like that nobody else could think about using... so there! i thought, redtsakablack! i thought that probably.. well, surely, not all those people who had blogsites were filipinos... instead of and, i used tsaka...

so that's today's story... hahaha... babye!

2003-05-14T20:12:00.000-07:00

hello! :) i just saw and recorded GC's new vid... AT LAST!!

just the other day, i was taking GC/Simple Plan quizzes in this quiz site... and i discovered that i am more like pierre than i am like joel... and i am more like benji than i am like joel... AND i am more like billy than i am like benji or joel... hahahaha... obssessed fan on the loose!!! :b hahahahaha...

2003-05-13T20:35:00.000-07:00

whoohoo!!! here ya go... new blog! i deleted the other two coz i couldn't use them and it doesn't seem to be updated... so, here..