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::uncomfortable&wondering:: |
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9.01.2003
sorry to those people involved in that story in my last entry... i just had to share that to reason out why i'm acting the way i'm acting... and no, it's not your fault..
haii.. grabe, ung tnype ko pala dito kagabi hindi na-publish dahil nag-dc ako kaagad! whahaha... pero ok lang, medyo private thing yun e at weird din yung pagkakwento ko.. weyt! gusto ko mag-english!
english naman these past few days, i've been going through some problems.. not only those that almost everybody knows but also those that only i and a couple of people know... i've been feeling lost and kind of "rejected" because of what's been happening.. first, because of the problem, i haven't really been talking to her about a lot of stuff, stuff i usually tell her... second, i've been talking to another person(1) about my problems when she(#1) and one of our friends(#2) also start to have a problem... days after that, they(#1&2) talked it out and i discovered that that she(#2) was in a huff (ayesss) because she(#1) was spending more time with me than with her(#2)... they were the two people who were really "close" in our barx... i felt weird realizing that i had somehow contributed to the problem... i decided to lay low from those "serious talk sessions" that we(me & #1) had because i didn't want anyone to have a problem because of me... heck... i didn't know who i could talk to... i didn't want to interfere with whatever they had.. i really felt lost.. it was at that time when i started analyzing all the stuff on my own and not open up to anybody.. and believe me, it's hard... i'm not that kind of person... whenever i have a problem, i usually talk to every person around me about that problem... i rarely keep things to myself (except those secret stuff that people tell me).. luckily, i got to talk to 2 other people who were patient enough to listen to whatever i had to say (i'm not saying that the other people i talked to weren't patient.. but.. you get the point!)... i'm still not over what happened but there have been improvements.. i've learned to control myself and whatever i felt... less self-pity... less tantrums.. less rants.. a more open-mind... more patience.. more understanding.. as usual, special mention:: tenkyu cla and ate abby! :) |
links ate din's ate din's again jen's eprel's glennie's ella's burn's ging's ly's pam's thea's thea's again ROC's vertigo's alive's jammers' burn's site camz's site pam's site 
GC rocks! HOME | ARCHIVES 
likes:: music. writing. reading. internet. friends. guitar. cds. radio. tv. benji madden. joel madden. pierre bouvier. andy roddick. HiM. sacramento kings. basketball. badminton. blog. red. black. orange. good charlotte. simple plan. linkin park. default. john mayer. all american rejects. the ataris. yahoo. google. blogger. the fast and the furious. monsters, inc. ten things i hate about you. lizzie mcguire. sana'y wala nang wakas. csi. six feet under. hates:: avril lavigne. f4. meteor garden. bestfriends. wants:: ten things i hate about you dvd. spin mag featuring simple plan. blender mag featuring simple plan. new shoes. new pants. the guardian by nicholas sparks. almost kinda acoustic. movin' on - GC when i think about my life i wonder if i will survive to live to see 25 or will i just fall? like all my friends, they just keep dying people 'round me always crying in this place that i like to call my home not everybody knows that everybody goes to a better place not everybody knows that everyone could be living their last days but the hard times will come, and we'll keep movin' on, we're movin' up keep movin' on life. hope. truth. trust. faith. pride. love. lust. on without the things we've lost the things we've gained we'll take with us and all i've got are these two hands to make myself a better man i wonder if i'll ever see the end of this with all this rain it just keeps falling on my head and now i'm calling out to someone else to help me make it through pain. hate. lies. guilt. laugh. cry. live. die. some friends become enemies some friends become your family make the best with what you're given this ain't dying this is living! said we're movin' on, and we got nothing to prove to anyone 'cause we'll get through we're movin' on and on and on and on... keep movin' on easier to run - LP it's easier to run replacing this pain with something numb it's so much easier to go than face all this pain here all alone something has been taken from deep inside of me a secret i've kept locked away no one can ever see wounds so deep they never show they never go away like moving pictures in my head for years and years they've played if i could change i would take back the pain i would retrace every wrong move that i made i would if i could stand up and take the blame i would if i could take all the shame to the grave i would sometimes i remember the darkness of my past bringing back these memories i wish i didn't have sometimes i think of letting go and never looking back and never moving forward so there would never be a past just washing it aside all of the helplessness inside pretending i don't feel misplaced is so much simpler than change you're good! |